Orgasmic Paper at BYU

I recently turned an essay into my LDS professor at BYU with the word "orgasmic" in it (among other words).  I'd been assigned to write an analysis essay in my class, "The Short Story" and chose to write on D. H. Lawrence's "The Rocking Horse Winner" because it was the only story that really hooked me of the options we were given. As I was doing my second reading, I realized the story was shouting things at me that I didn't really want to hear. Thinks like, "MOMMY ISSUES" and "SEX" and most importantly, a combination of those things, which is never good. But the story was so powerful that I had to write on it.

After I finished my essay, I was re-reading it and wanted to have a friend proof it. This led me to realize that I was way too embarrassed to have a friend read what I'd written. And, THEN I realized that I was going to have to turn this paper in to my LDS teacher at BYU.  And I was mortified.  I'd put a lot of work into it and felt really connected to it. So, I finally got the nerves to send it to my good friend Rachel Gilman, lovingly referred to as Lil Rachy. She lives close to San Fran so I figured she wouldn't be too outraged by what I'd written. I think she was a bit taken aback by its rawness but offered some really great suggestions for revisions. I gladly accepted her advice and went back to work on the paper. Then the due date came and I was starting to feel pretty nervous about submitting it. I didn't think I was going to get Honor Code policed or anything but I was worried about what my teacher might think of me. I waited until the last possible minute to turn it in.

After that, I sort of forgot about it. I got strep throat and missed class. And then I got this email:

"Missed you in class on Thursday, especially since I returned essays.  Out of two classes, yours was the only one that earned 100 points---a superb essay.  If you’re amenable, I’d like to distribute it to the class as an example paper.  No problem, if you don’t want it distributed.  If you don’t mind---and I hope you don’t---could you send me a copy as an attachment? 

Thanks,

Lance Larsen"

I was absolutely floored. I think I'm a decent writer but something like that hasn't happened to me for a really long time (like since high school) and somewhere in my repressed ego, I'd secretly been wanting it to happen for a long time. It felt pretty dang good and I'll even admit to standing up and dancing in my living room by myself. It felt really good to know that it's okay to go out on a limb and say what you really, actually think and how you truly see and perceive things. It felt good to create something and receive high praise for it from a teacher I REALLY admire and respect. Yes, I'm bragging but it's because I'm so dang excited!

When I got my paper back next class period, I got an even better note: "In short, yours is a model paper, though a bit intimidating to your classmates given its prowess, frankness, and grasp of Freudian psychology. If you aren't involved as a writing fellow, you should consider it. I'd recommend you."

Blog Post to Come: How I Feel About Writing About Things I'm not Even Supposed To Think About